Puppy Lesson #3 -- Purse Diving

Today, Maya would like to share the joys of purse diving with those unfortunate puppies who have not experienced the thrill and joy:

Purse diving is one of the most entertaining things you can do.  For those of you who have not mastered this great past-time, or who are unfortunate enough to have a person who doesn't have a purse, you don't know what you're missing!

Female persons are very protective of their purses, so the first thing you need to do is wait patiently until your person leaves the room where the purse is located.  The key word here is patiently.  I know you want to get to the purse, but if you show too much interest, she'll just put it somewhere where you can't reach it and then your fun is over before it even begins.

Once your person has left the room, and you're sure she won't be returning soon, walk slowly to the purse.  This is very important for puppies like me who wear more than one tag on their collars.  You do not want to make any noise at this point.  If your person's purse is open, or only closed with a magnetic button in the middle, skip to the next paragraph.  If your person's purse if closed with metal teeth, you'll need to disarm the metal teeth before proceeding.  I know this sounds scary, but it's not.  All purses with metal teeth have a built-in opener.  It's usually located at one end of the metal teeth; it may or may not have a handle.  Either way, just grab it with your teeth and pull towards the closed teeth to the opposite end of the purse.  If the opener is in the middle of the purse, you'll have to decide which direction to pull.  One direction will close the teeth, the other will open them.  It's ok if you guess wrong, just stop pulling and then pull in the opposite direction.

Now that the purse is open, it's time to go diving.  To execute a perfect dive, simply bury your face in the purse.  There are always a lot more items than you could ever play with, so I'll just point out some of the common ones: 

1. Wallets -- These are not that fun by themselves, but they're filled with other stuff that is.  Credit cards are great because it takes a lot to break them.  Checkbooks are not fun.  I don't know about paper money because my person rarely has any.  I don't think it's much fun for her to play with it either.
2. Keys -- These are fun if you like metal like I do.  And they make a lot of jingly noise.  If you don't like either of those things, just move on to something else. 
3. Lipstick -- While this looks like fun, under no circumstances should you touch it.  I repeat -- DO NOT TOUCH THE LIPSTICK!!  Lipstick must be something sacred to people because my person freaked out when I grabbed hers.  I've never seen her that upset before.  In case you don't know what it looks like, think of a pencil only really short and fat, and it opens into two pieces.  If you're not sure if something is lipstick, don't risk it.
4. Rubber bands, hair clips, etc -- Don't bother with these.  Your person drops these or leaves them lying around all the time, so don't waste precious time playing with these - they are not purse-specific items.

My person has a lot of other stuff in her purse, but I don't know if they're common or not, and I just wanted to point out some of the common stuff. 

Last tip:  Like everything else, you have to take your treasure elsewhere to play with it.  Don't get caught near the purse, and don't pull out anything you won't be immediately playing with.  My person always seems to have some kind of paper in her purse, and I always mess up and accidentally pull some of the paper out too.  That's how I always get caught.  I'm still working on only grabbing one thing at a time, but until I master that, I need to practice getting paper back into the purse.

Happy diving!

-Maya

Puppy Lesson #2 -- Socks

Today, Maya would like to share her tips for successfully stealing socks: 

First, find a good hiding spot.  This needs to be a place the socks will fit, but it is not necessary for you to fit into the hiding spot.  You'll need a way to get your socks in and out quickly, so be sure you can easily get a paw into the space.  If you're a small dog, you have the advantage that your paws are smaller than your person's arm.  Use this to your advantage.

Next, locate socks.  It helps if your person doesn't notice you hunting for the socks.  You can distract her by playing quietly with a toy for a couple of minutes.  That way when you quietly start your hunt, she'll think you're still playing with the toy.  Take as many socks as you can possibly find, and quickly and quietly get them into the hiding spot you previously identified.  Sacrifice quickness for quietness if necessary.  Depending on your size, you may have to take one sock at a time.  That's ok, just stay quiet while you do it so you don't draw any attention to yourself while you go back for the remaining socks.  If there are a lot of socks and it will take you more than a couple of minutes, you might also want to make a quick appearance in front of your person so she doesn't get curious and start looking for you.  Just take the toy you were playing with earlier and play with it in front of her for a few minutes before going back to your sock hunting/hiding.

Finally, play with/chew socks.  You'll have to do this in the open.  Whatever you do, do not do this near your hiding place.  We all know you'll get caught eventually, either because your person will see you or because you're being too quiet and your person will go looking for you.  Either way, if you're near your hiding spot when you get caught, you'll lose all your socks.  If you do this elsewhere, one sock will get taken away, but you still have the rest safely in your hiding spot. 

I hope this helps some of you puppies out there enjoy your socks a little while longer.  Happy hunting!

- Maya

Puppy Lessons

I've decided that from time to time, I'll let Maya pass along some of the lessons she's learned to other puppies in need. 

Today, puppy lesson #1 -- Let's say you're really tired and want to take a nap.  However, you're scared that if you fall asleep, your person will want to go out, leaving you behind.  How do you get your beauty rest without risking being left at home?  

Easy, just use your person's purse as a pillow!!